How Does Racial Trauma Impact Black Couples?
Structural racism exists. It has existed for centuries.
Of course, there are people who consciously do their part to keep such a dynamic alive. The vast majority of humans, however, are simply not aware of the endless ways racism plays out on a daily basis. Even those victimized by oppression may find the causes to be obscured.
This is a dangerous trend for many reasons. For example, a racist system leads to racial trauma. In turn, this presents a particular kind of threat to black couples. Thus, it’s essential that we do the work to identify the factors at play.
What Is Racial Trauma?
The term “trauma” is to describe an emotional response to a triggering event. Such an event could include a wide range of possibilities, e.g. any type of abuse, violence, or abandonment/neglect. Whatever the cause might be, trauma often leads to the development of a mental health condition called post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD.
Racial trauma, it follows, is an emotional response to a racially triggering event. It can also lead to PTSD. In a society so steeped in racism, racial trauma can be virtually impossible for Black Indigenous People of Color (BIPOC) to avoid.
Examples of racial trauma may involve:
Violence
Humiliation
Bias
Media depictions
Witnessing the racial trauma of others
How Racial Trauma Presents Itself
The signs and symptoms of PTSD caused by racism are fundamentally consistent with any form of PTSD. The specifics are where the differences lie.
Nightmares and flashbacks: Thanks to social media, violent racial incidents are often shown over and over. This doubles up on what the victims are already experiencing.
Hyper-vigilance: Many BIPOC have been subjected to racism when encountering law enforcement officers. This can lead to heightened anxiety upon even seeing a police car.
Emotional health issues: These can range from anxiety to depression to substance abuse to increased aggression.
Loss of hope: The chronic presence of racism is enough to wear down anyone’s perception of the future.
How Does Racial Trauma Impact Black Couples?
Black couples, like ALL couples, have plenty of issues and obstacles to navigate. The ominous presence of widespread racism can serve to turn “normal” couple problems into major concerns. When both of you are struggling with the symptoms listed above, it can feel impossible to deal with the day-to-day realities of a relationship.
Here are just four of the many roadblocks you may face:
Emotional Exhaustion
Everyone has a limit as to how much pressure they can handle without breaking down. Consider the daily—hourly—stress of worrying about your partner when you are not with them.
A partner in a black couple might want to chat about something far less onerous than racism. Will their partner have the emotional reserve to be there for them?
Gender Dynamics
Regardless of race, women frequently face another form of discrimination: misogyny. For the woman in a couple, this means they could be in a setting that feels both racially and gender unsafe.
Financial Distress
An ugly component of a racist culture is economic inequality. For a black couple, there are the usual financial concerns. On top of that is the looming reality that they most likely endure fewer opportunities to succeed and thrive.
Children
All couples worry about their kids. When your kids are not white, the worry increases. Are they safe? Will they get the medical care they need? Is anyone bullying them? Do they know how to interact with law enforcement? Unfortunately, the list of fear goes on and on.
—
For the kind of racially-informed counseling you need if you find yourself in any of the above-mentioned situations, please reach out for more information about how I can help.